Tossing & Turning

 

Can't help but be awake—tonight my thoughts,

my thoughts are too loud,

so are my urges to call him;

I know he is up,

that he'd probably answer,

but if I'm being frank

if any calls were made

I know it would not be me calling

nor would it be him answering &

the two who'd be in conversation,

I've sworn them to be star crossed lovers

till I deemed it time for them to meet.

I can't help but stay awake—

my thoughts,

my Thoughts are too loud,

the scribbles on paper of all of the To Do List for tomorrow…

one side of my conscience is already on the next day & the day after that,

while the other side is already blueprinting what the end of next week is supposed to look like;

what we are supposed to wear,

prayers we are to say,

songs we need to listen to,

songs that we must avoid listening to.

I can't help staying awake, I can't sleep

because the night is too loud with all of its silence.

Like where is all the crickets, the owls,

where are all the conversations that I am not a part of yet eavesdrop on?

Are they all hiding from me in hopes I can actually get some rest tonight?

I still can't sleep—

In 4 ½ Force the sun will be up scolding me for my mother who is either uh smoking a cigarette at the moment or is fast asleep right now,

either way not worried about me.

I can't sleep.

I don't work tomorrow.

I need rest.

—      Rest & sleep, I have found are not the same thing