‘Lord, I am not just tired I am sick’
with your presence that I feel so strongly on some days
I feel nothing but gravity on other days
Where are you on the days when the world you created ends up feeling like another textbook I have to fit into my bookbag?
On days all I can hear is the negative self-talk and the even more negative talk that drowns that out at times.
Where are you when the parents that you created and gifted me drown out the sound of the voice you made for me?
Lord, I am not tired, I am sick of having to choose my own battle of having to pick the wrong ones to have to learn some absurd lessons that are hiding out of sight.
Lord, I am sick of having to get hurt to somehow better myself as if there's ever really any more of myself to better after the pain is said and done.
Lord I am not just tired, I am not just weak, Lord I am sick of being sick of healing from being sick. I am tired of having to fight myself to get some rest at night just so tomorrow could be another waste of time.
I'm sick of looking in the mirror and not knowing who I am on any given day or not knowing what is my purpose here.
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