Healing Time is Reletive

 

Healing Time is Relative (4)

Einstein once said that time is relative

meaning the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference

the faster a clock moves the slower time passes

so for all the time that passed this year, 

people will still say only time will heal, but my problem is 

my time of self-reflection 

all my time only seemed to have stopped without you

So if time is relative then I must be frozen in time

perched on a horizon one a sun in your presence will never rise

cause if only you knew

how man feelings and encounters ill leave out while telling you about my day or when you ask why I’m feeling the way I am

If only you knew how many of my smiles were fake

how often I’d start to say something, but

bit my tongue or change the conversation all together so I wouldn’t leave myself too vulnerable o because I’ve already said so many times my feelings should be known

If only you know how often I wanted to say 

I love you, but took into consideration the timing so I’d just blush and whisper it to myself

how often I’d allow myself to say it, but desperately needed to hear it back

if only you knew how much and how fast m sorrows

vanished once in your arms

how all my traveling demons 

all my lingering repercussions of mistakes,

suddenly can’t touch me and almost disappear while with you

If only you knew how many nights I yarned for you, but fell asleep with my cat by my side instead

how many tears I had shed over you and 

how each tear is something I didn’t say to you

If only you knew all the things you don’t know,

all the things that weigh on me

all that I haven’t yet written

how I now I’ve lost you before,

how I’ve felt and fought against that pain,

lost that sleep after doing so

how I’d rather disappear in thin air

become your friendly ghost

one who’ll never allow you to feel alone ever again

before I’ll ever get close to going through that again

how I promise I won’t lose you again