The 5th Step

Childhood,
Elementry
1. I thought you were, the world and
me sitting on your shoulders
on what seemed to be middle of you
were me doing so in the world.

2.  I thought you were,
my own apartment. Where
I used to hide and try to stray from youthful. Trouble.

3. You were my farewell lookout. Where
I'd stand closest to the window
to see mommy and daddy, leave.
To only return, after
what felt like forever.

4. You were my home plate.
My bridge between me and my grandfather.
You held and still hold his chair
where sitting on it is
almost like sitting on his lap.

5. You made me feel safe.
Getting home from school,
finally reaching you, felt like, everything
that bothered me
couldn't get past you.

Adolescent,
Middle school
6. You were still my safe house.
I'd run up the stairs to get to you.
Completly outta breath,
when I finally did do so and
as if all the air that had left out my lungs,
that seemed to escape me and
that I was missing
was waiting for me there. With you.

7. I don't feel alone. When
I'm with you.

8. I shed tears on your shoulders. I've
contemplated death or even just running away.

Simi Adulting,
Growing Pains,
High School
9. I ran to you
when I heard the news. About
Great- Grandma's death.

10. I've had fall outs
with friends on your shoulders and
though you've never met them,
you've heard their voice.
You moaned as I continued to rest on your shoulders
as if you felt my pain.

11. You're always been that
the good foundation I needed
when nobody else was there.

12.  You gave me that
" Your majesty has arrived" appeal
while
I walked past you
wearing my prom dress. You
lifted my dress' back and
played trumpets. Only
I heard as I proceeded
down the stairs.
Out to the ball. I'd
remember forever after.

13. The day after
you gave me more trumpets
as I wore my cap and gown.
 Trumpets of success.
You didn't make a sound,
almost too silent
as if to hide being scared to say goodbye.
But
when I came back it was as if you changed. You
said nothing.

Totally Adulting,
College,
Present life
14. You stayed silent
for awhile.
Maybe it's because I'm gone more.

15. You comforted me and cried with me as I paced back and forth.
Almost as I did so beside me. As
my relationship died. The whole thing I held and protected like a treasure. I
thought it was a shared treasure. When
it was just my beautiful nothing.

16.  You're that childhood friend. That
stayed with me,
the longest relationship. I have.