Ticking time bomb

I sit here
at the end of my rope
as I'm waiting for confirmation one that'll change my life.

Whether it's me,
Waiting for that call telling me your ok,
Waiting for that letter of acceptance,
Waiting for that test to be graded or,
Waiting for the last day before graduation.

I'm always waiting and
Within every moment I wait
My stomach is tied up in
Boy Scout-like knots,
Unable to breathe,
Lightheaded,
Eyes growing tired,
Heartbeat accelerates;
Feeling as if my heart has become a basketball and
My chest is the gym floor.

My mind,
Unable to break free,
like a civilian in the middle of a war.
My conscious,
like a drill instructor,
" You should have seen this coming"
It chants.

My body,
Left numb
unsure whose side to be on.
Heart's still pounding,
However.every thump sound
it begins to sound like
a cry for help.
Why can't I help?
All I wasn't do is help.
Do I even the ability to help?

Now like the devil advocates other symptoms wanna
play along.
My head starts to sound like one pound hail
Being thrown from the sky
On a freshly painted car hood.

I don't know-how,
Much longer I can hold on
I feel like every second like it's gonna be that last second.

Please just give me,
The;
test grade,
That call,
That letter,
That graduation.

I don't know
How much longer,
I'll hang on and remain sane
As I continue to wait
I remain seated as a ticking
Time bomb
getting closer, and closer to zero.........
BOOM!!!!