Placed on the Cusp of Adolescence-

And then her fingers tear the water 

open & her body disappears into the 

pool-

'Just Jump,' she says as our heartbeats collide

over three inches apart from each 

other. I was the one who got us into 

this. I was the one who said we

should do it together.

---

I hear her, my love, yet I try not

to. This jump, a declaration that I

must commit to, a declaration of

all the things I know I feel about her.

---

'Just jump,' I say, but now our hearts

have gotten out of line and away from each other,

no longer in sync, now I'm the one 

holding my breath, hoping to hollow out 

my ribcage so my reluctant heartbeat

doesn't echo so loudly. I'm scared it

would scare him to jump off

prematurally. 

Carbonation/It's Amazing *After Nikki Giovanni: The Butterfly / I Remember

Those feelings

which you so secretly keep hidden are merely carbonation you truly wish to release-

a chemical imbalance, something you denying-ly convince yourself could become your helium, finally giving you the ability to get your feet off the ground acts more like an unforeseen anchor keeping you tethered.

It's amazing how I managed to learn how you breathe, 

how I've memorized your chest's rise and fall rhythm as a dancing version of tug of war. 

It's amazing how I've come to find out my body's combination of reactions to the phenomena that is to your own. 

How when you simply walk into the room, whatever stress I was being trampled under walks out;

How, when you call my name, I quickly forget how it sounds when anyone else says it. 

How when you say good morning/ goodnight it's the sound of a book closing/opening it's me being eager to pick up another one, 

flip through it knowing that I'll be doing it with you. 

How I hate/hated when other people looked me directly in my eyes cause I never knew/was never prepared for what they might/might've seen, till you learned how to do it/intercept everything that is never put to words, and learned how to convey this to me without making want to run, and allowing me to run towards you.

It's rather amazing.

It's Amazing *After Nikki Giovanni: I Remember

It's amazing how I managed to learn how you breathe, 

how I've memorized your chest's rise and fall rhythm as a dancing version of tug of war. 

It's amazing how I've come to find out my body's combination of reactions to the phenomena that is to your own. 

How when you simply walk into the room, whatever stress I was being trampled under walks out;

How when you call my name I quickly forget how it sounds when anyone else says it. 

When you say good morning/ goodnight it's the sound of a book closing/opening it's me being eager to pick up another one, 

flip through it knowing that I'll be doing it with you. 

How I hate/hated when other people looked me directly in my eyes cause I never knew/was never prepared for what they might/might've seen, till you learned how to do it/intercept everything that is never put to words and learned how to convey this to me without making me want to run, and allowing me to run towards you.

It's rather amazing.

A State of Mind

The waves of my mind are finally calm, and the currents and tides are still. 

It's almost as if I put a paper boat on this quiet surface,

the water would leave the paper alone, allowing it to float.

The waves of my mind, 

mellowed out, 

now a reflective surface, 

something that holds the moon the way I wish to be held and will kiss it like a mother's goodnight peck on the forehead. 

The wind, a quiet gentile giant whispering lullabies instead of criticisms. 

Words of encouragement and peace, a friend I never knew.

Carbonation *after Nikki Giovanni: The Butterfly

Those feelings

Which you so secretly keep hidden are merely carbonation you truly wish to release-

A chemical imbalance, something you denying-ly convince yourself could become your helium, finally giving you the ability to get your feet off the ground acts more like an unforeseen anchor keeping you tethered.

A Passenger

I see the train passing, 

I see that there are no stops that it keeps going till whatever distraction it's set for finally arrives and sometimes I feel like that's how life is, 

how every single day isn't necessarily a stop but a new sight along the way.

I am just a passenger here. 

Self Aware

She looks at me unblinking, staring as if trying to find something, as if trying to figure out if I'm holding out on her somehow.

I stare back at her trying to find all the answers in her eyes/our eyes but I find more of a kaleidoscope than a soul, find more of a journal of prayers than a book of adventures, 

finding more of a wishlist/bucket list of things to do beforehand, rather than things accomplished. She is all over the place restless, 

wakes up before I do/we do and stares at a sealing of stars, looking into the Milky Way, 

trying to connect all the stars like dots hoping to lead them down a path to get them out of the labyrinth but all she's really doing is getting motion sick trying to hold down her dinner from last night, all I'm trying to do is sleep but all I do is feel like I'm floating.

Floating instead of dreaming and dreaming instead of flying.

She would rather have her head stuck in the clouds, while I would rather find a way to lie down in them.

I do not understand her/myself/my own mind and that is why I write poetry