Written Truth to Her

When you looked for the vape

it was like you were looking for something else.

I could never be that something

that you were looking for

cause I was right in front of your face.

the tears, a silent thanks to God

 heartbroken this conversation-

a little girl,

her own voice, a honey,

Deeper drifting into dreams

she whispered - " I love you"

to my heart - 

the tears, a silent thanks

to God  

It's Cause You Chose Me

How come you chose me & if the world allowed you a redo, would 

you make the same decision all over again?

I look in the mirror & Cannot see what you see.

It's not that I refuse the mirror that you hold up to me, 

but looking into it is a different story.

I look in & try to find the facts that I'm not so sure is true, 

the ones that are so easily spotted in everyone else's view of me, and I don't see any.

I still feel blind, pulling the mirror in closer, trying to get as many angles all at once as I can, 

so I can see myself more fully, so I can hopefully spot something, show you & by doing so, 

maybe you'd let me down faster than you would if you found it yourself.

How come you chose me & if the world allowed you a redo, would you 

make the same decision all over again?

I try to ask myself the same questions, finding myself with the same responses.

It's cause you chose me.

Self Portrait as the Sky

Emotions: pages of a book being Changed without being read/or glanced at, filled with depth that could make someone whole/if that someone wanted to be whole.

Emotions: something I force behind clouds like closet doors, all the seasons in me (anger of summer heat, the sadness of spring rain, but they say tears are cleansing water & who doesn't feel better after a good cry, walls/the separation of winter, with all the colorful personality of fall) but with the indecisiveness of mother nature, unsure of if I should trust you with my emotions, worried about if I drop a bomb shell on you that you weren't prepared for. Unlike the weather, there are no forecasts you can prepare for me. 

Rain Diamonds

Have you ever looked at the rain droplets on a car window when the car is in park?

They twinkle like diamonds.

Being God made, they're more valuable.

Oh Legend I'm Very Enjoyed Resplendent

 She hadn't smiled like that before

She wished she hadn't smiled at all

for the first time till she saw you, that means

you'd be the cause for that sunshine.

Dreaming Bout You

Our lips met in a dream.

I didn't see your face, but I knew-

I just knew it was you

Mourning Whatever This Was

Under these circumstances, falling

out of love with you has become 

my first death,

all sensations revolving around

you is falling asleep & into a slumber

they'll never awake from.

I miss you, I do.

Just as I would miss & mourn

someone no longer living.

little voices

 a legend didn't really happen -

stories, silence

could hear the truth.

the spirit in the dark

is a question

full of love & little voices

Dreaming Paradox

Have you ever had a dream

where you dreamed?

This world has become a world 

without itself,

A place with layers,

A place full of people

who have forgotten

how to be human/

P.O.E.M

Peace of mind that the obstacles that arise are ones that I will eventually

Overcome with assistance from God, with understanding, I can do all things

Even those that feel impossible at the moment.

Maybe I can't fly, but I haven't gotten over the obstacles that I put in front of myself over to God enough for him not only to become my wings but to be the wind beneath them.

Overly Lyrical Introvert Valiant Evermore Rhine

Her mind 

was noisy

when she

texted him.

There was

no right

no wrong

way of 

texting him.

There was

no right

or wrong

way to

be her,

around hi,.

She simply

just had 

to be.

Sweet Dreams

If my dreams were anything

like you

I'd never want to wake up.

She sat still for a moment.

The world seemed loud,

but she doesn't know

how to hear it,

how to decipher all the noise.

She sat still for a minute.

Her thoughts,

a world of its own

accompanied by nose

of its own that she

can't seem to silence.

She wants to learn from it all,

somehow, she just doesn't

know how.

Emotions Represented

The clouds are out today.

I don't even need to look up at the sky

to know because

my soul

feels in the shadows today.

In Control of the Sticker Stars?

 Does my inner child have a light switch wherever she is

to turn them on/off?

Does she tell them when to glow

to serve as a reminder

that she's still there?

storytime

left from the past experiences - 

campgrounds of campfires & lanterns, 

all the places by nature were 

almost reluctant hearts, pray briefly, 

where the conversations happened.

When You say You Know Me Better than I Know Myself

Sometimes I wonder how people really know me better than I do. I guess it makes sense coming from my parents.

I was a baby that they raised, but coming from a friend I'm skeptical.

How do you know me better than I know myself?

Is it that in your own way, one we'd never noticed, as you've raised me too?

Bring me up from a seed of a person

When we first met.

To the person I am now-

With the experiences that I've had&

Growth that I've gone through?

Why?

The question I dread having to answer because I know there are no true answers.

I know the responces I could never give to my parents.

I know the responses I give my friends.

I know the ones that get my blood boiling& my eyes over flowing with tears.

None of them will be given on judgment day-none will be my ticket into Heaven.

I'm not Beethoven

I can't sing a song about you-

there's no melody that'll go with it.

I'll have the words & the paper for them to rest on, but that's the most that I'll be able to do

I can't sing about you.

the world's smallest violin wouldn't work.

any percussion would play louder than my heart pounding -

screaming like a needy child.

I can't sing a song about you

I won't even try.

Even Beethoven would have failed

at doing so.

Couldn't pitch in on the actual song 

there was more out there to create 

for my talents don't rest on my vocals alone, 

my mother knew what she consulted my dad 

on what my name should be. 

the night -

the telling 

of a true story

that she knew -

a sacrifice

the night -

laughing children,

troublemakers 

The Good in People will Prevail

 Her halo sank below her hovering throne,

becoming less of a crown

and more like a pair of eye shields

Even microscopic goodness, she can now see.

Where am I Now?

I can't condone these feelings

for you anymore.

Too many wrong turns

left me in tears-

searching for tissues from behind

the water works & praying to God

between my wines.

Too many "right" turns

had me forgetting myself,

had me convinced that poetry

was the best way to re-experience this love,

an artifact that'll conjure a heart-rebreaking

if we don't last.

Too many detours.

Too many detours left us repeating conversations

that got us nowhere, or

left me wishing I had a compass

so I can get some kind of idea 

where I am.

Truly Speechless

Her thoughts were bitter

cause she had

nothing to say to this man

she used to lovr

robbed her of being 

able to love any further.

Her thoughts were bitter

cause she had nothing to say

she was a writer

but still her mouth ran drier,

with no words on her tongue.

Where My Ribbon Lies

Sometimes I wonder where my ribbon lies.

Would you even be dissolved in guilt if you

had to learn the hard way;

when you see what your desires will really get you?

Find out the hard way in such a way that life

is lost, that a heart's breaking isn't the only 

casualty. Sometimes I wonder if I ended up

like her, would you have even tried to fix me;

find a way to put me back together, or would

you just live with the body rotting & headless?

The body is what you really wanted...Right?

You never needed me to be able to think

for myself in the first place, but by all means

I was never your perfect, pretty little fool

either. Would you even be able to live with

yourself if you couldn't save my life?

What's Inside

Her heart is a mineshaft.

Know how to mind

for the right jewel, but

First, you must hit the right accord.

A Realization

Sometimes I'd rather be silent 

because that means

I don't have to pick the right words

to say.

Being silent allows the silence

to speak for me.

Untold E

I don't know how to engage

with you anymore.

My lips

doesn't meet yours the same

anymore.

My body in your arms

doesn't feel safe anymore.

that moment

the oldest spoke 

of his own father,

a terrible man -

a pure give up

all before the 

legend the heart

to reach of place

the lands beyond

the young warrior -

a broken body

hem grief-stricken

he sacrificed remember

that moment

slowly forming.

Where I'm From (Anniversary Repost)

Past

I came from a quiet place 

for the first five years of my life.

For I was the only child. 

I came from wishing on stars, 

watching Disney movies and 

playing dress up.

I came from a warm home-cooked 

meals every single day.

I came from warnings told and 

not listening.

I came from a place of pink and purple 

were common colors.

For I was the only child.

I came from lessons learned.

I came from wisdom, joy, and love.

I came from experience.

I may not go to church every Sunday.

Yet I worship at home with mom and dad.

For I was the only child.

I came from a mother and father watching 

their little girl's dreams and praying for another playmate.

For I was the only child.

Asking mommy, daddy, May I have a little brother or sister? 

Dreaming and praying for that to come true one day, one day soon.

Closer to the Present

After five years, my dreams and prayers came true.

I then came from a family filled with rejoicement, excitement,

more love, and more experiences.

My little brother was born, named James, and brought home.

I once went from a quiet place to a noisy place.

For now, I’m not the only child anymore.

I came from my son to pick this room up and tell your sister to help.

I also came from both of you to come here and give me a hug.

I came from not being lonely anymore and having someone younger to play with.

Soon I came from going to a place with no understanding.

A new school and a new environment.

Away from my parents.

Still closer yet further than I used to.

I went to a place that made you think and made you learn.

Makes you understand that mom and dad care more than the people outside the family.

I went to a place that made you miss mom, dad, brother, and home-cooked meals every day.

A place where you’re stuck with burnt pizza and overdone food.

Also stuck with mean teachers who act fake to everyone and don’t care as much as your parents.

I went to a place where I knew who I was, but people tried to change that. 

They tried to make me less than myself by bullying me, not caring, and torturing me with hatred and hate-filled comments.

They would often give me fake compliments.

To make me feel less than them. 

I’ve wanted to have a true friend, but I never knew that the friends I have weren't what I was looking for.

I once thought that I had found a true friend, but I didn't know how blind I was to her deceitfulness.

I am from a family of wisdom. 

I came again, praying for another playmate.

However, now asking mommy and daddy Can I have a little sister?

The mother and father still watched their daughter wish for something else.

Closer to present x 2

Five years later, I came from a place filled with more noise, rejoicement, and excitement.

My little sister was born, named Kalena, and brought home.

I quickly came from a room filled with toys on the floor and constantly hearing 

“Baby girl, clean this room up and tell your big brother and sister to help you.”

Again, I went to another place. 

This time with more understanding than before.

I went to a new school and a new environment.

This time still hoping to make a true best friend or even just a friend.

Still learning and making my parents proud.

Getting a lot of assignments.

However, it wasn't impressing the people around me or even myself.

Yet I was impressing GOD, and that's what I needed to focus on. 

I was making impressions on teachers by working hard and acting civilized.

I am from a place where imagination runs wild.

I come from where people can express how they feel. 

I'm most definitely not from a rich family, but I'm definitely from a blessed family.

I am from love, not hate. 

Though I see the opposite from outside my windows every day. 

I came from a place that's heard about gunshots and violence, but never being there in person.

I came from a place that helped me when I was bullied.

They helped me understand that people don't hate me, but the GOD in me. 

Now I understand what they meant. 

I came from a place with understanding where there was none. 

I come from a family of no separation, though there are walls in my house.

I came from a place where it's loud all day but quiet all night. 

I come to a place where I might cry due to being spiritually touched by the presence of GoD, and I don't get judged for it. 

In fact, I may even need to comfort family members for the same reason.

I haven't been the only child for more than eleven years now. 

Wow, God has blessed me in so many ways. 

I'm from a place where dreams are heard. 

I am from home and heaven. 

Yes!!  I am from mistakes made.

I am from a place where people can fit in. 

I am from a place where secrets are never held. The truth is always told. 

If not, we repent if a lie is told. 

I am from a GOD formed family.

I am from a well-known and unknown family.

I am from a family of new and old family members. 

I am from a family that will try to make you happy when you are sad. 

Yet not willing to cross that line that makes me into a brat. 

I came from a GOD blessed family.

Present 

I once again went to a place.

This time with a lot of GoD given understanding.

Where I can work on what I already know and have learned. 

I come from a place I've never thought I would ever enter.

In a state of mind I've never thought I would ever be able to achieve. 

I don't care as much about what others say; I need to change 

So I can be who they want me to be. 

I came from a mother and father, with a brother and a sister.

I came from God.

I have made many mistakes in my short life span,

When I step back and take a look at how wonderful life truly is.

I didn't understand that God will always love me and will take me 

with all my flaws, because he'll take them away from me forever.

I come from laughter.

I come from a love for writing.

I am getting closer and closer to graduating.

I come from more than 795 pages, 151 short stories, and four different journals.

I come from a grieving family.

I am from having a true best friend now.

I have a high GPA.

I am from a cheer squad.

I am from New Beginnings of all types.

I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in, my friends.

I come from Growing Pains.

Are you doing your best but still being looked over?

I am asking God to constantly help me.

I come from wanting to do great things and be able to do great things.

I come from embracing my race in my gender, and who I am even more.

I came to quickly realize that people 

will never stop trying to break me down and change me.

They don't phase me anymore.

I come from a family that may struggle at times.

I come from situations of confusion, but I come to understand what has happened.

I come from a family that's all you need to know.

Unspoken Truth

My eyes

are my soul's

camera.