Pearl

They say welcome to pressure because a diamond is a rock that withstand the pressure and became beautiful. But what if you're already a diamond in the world are still putting pressure on you trying to turn you into a rock all over again? Yes I am talking about the evil sibling of pretty girl privilege I am talking about the pretty girl curse. Yes a curse. When the world sees you as pretty and they can't stand it. When they think you're nothing but shallow and dumb. The pretty girl curse makes them blonde so much smarter. Get ugly with me today. 

Hiraeth

I don't like saying goodbye anymore.

Now I say see ya later, even though 

the distance between the now and 

the when is unknown. 

See, but even then I´m still hope-

ful it would be sooner than later 

rather than later. I'm still hope-

ful that it would be sooner rather 

than being separated by lifetimes.

I don't like saying goodbye,

cause you never know when that

will become the last thing you

would have said to the person. 

I don´t say goodbye anymore, but

sometimes I wish I had because 

then that would have been a 

peaceful end to whatever chapter

I´d be changing the page from and 

would be less like ending on ellipses. 

Something Futuristic (Full Version)

 * The scene opens with a little girl sitting on a couch. 

One that is so big, one could imagine how it could feel

 like a small portion of the world to such a little one. A 

small portion of the world that not only could hold her 

itty-bitty self, but could hold more than a couple of her 

closest friends and several stuffed animals to accompany 

them all at once, but right now it's just her. Small and spec

-like on this large couch. Looking in closer you see she's 

holding a piece of paper in her hand. Looking even closer 

you find that the paper she's holding is a picture. Her eyes 

are big and full of wonder as she smiles giggly, pointing to 

the people in the picture.  In the picture; a young couple 

frozen in blissful time stands outfront of a coffee shop 

holding and kissing each other. Enter the little girl's 

mother, who finds the little girl sitting on the couch and

joins her. She sits there and simply observes the tender 

joy radiating off her daughter.The little girl acknowledges 

her mother giggles and hands her the picture. Leaving both 

of them holding the picture and looking at it together. The 

little little girl starts to point at the picture with her free hand,

bouncing like a ball between the two in the picture.*  

…

Tell me something about him.

Tell me something about her.

You sat us down and asked us about how we met;

asked us about how we met and how that day led 

us all the way to you.

Tell me about him.

Tell me about her.

You sat us down asking us;

About the feeling and 

how we knew it was real.

Tell me, you said and told you we did.

Tell me something about him;

Tell me something about Daddy, 

tell me about mommy;

Tell me something about her.

Tell me about me,

Please, tell me 

my story.

Something Futuristic (Shortened Version)

Tell me something about him.

Tell me something about her.

You sat us down and asked us about how we met;asked us about how we met and how that day led us all the way to you.

Tell me about him.

Tell me about her.

You sat us down and asked us about the feeling and how we knew it was real.

Tell me, you said and told you we did.

Tell me something about him.

Tell me something about Daddy.

Tell me about mommy.

Tell me something about her.

Tell me about me,

Please, tell me my story.

Close

She closed her eyes and all she could hear was her heart pounding in her ear canals. The world was finally gone for a minute but not silent. She was still heard the words but they were just internalized by more beats to play by the abnormal heart. Calm yourself down get a hold of yourself she said but it did not work. She's been writer's block written for weeks now and her boyfriend wasn't answering her. Not to mention it was summer and summer was supposed to be relaxing but hers wasn't. But it's okay what else could she really have done?

Clarification

Tell me

what happens when your 

body isn´t just your body

anymore?

When your body is house

that shelters multiple from

the worldly storm.

What happens when your

dreams are manifestations of

different voices, when that is 

Why can't you really get any sleep?

What happens when you have to come out about

something that's hard to get diagnosed, but yet you 

know it's the truth?

What happens to your body

when your body becomes it´s

own rabbit hole leading to

wonderland and you knowing

this but still fall victim

falling down it, but need a way back to reality?   

Bud

It was love that happens sometime last Summer, it was a late bloomer, a flower that was still a pure bud with such potential, beautiful but was destined for so much more. I asked her about it then, how it was that then the sun shine so much more and the birds saying so beautiful when she otherwise wouldn't have heard them. She smiled, her eyes slightly closed as if by doing so she could remember better, could see the image of those days clear. Cuz then was so long ago. 

Beginning

It's not just the start, the entrance you could make a turn from any point on and it's all you make a left and say now you feel or turn a right and find it's harder alone. She shot at the corner of the bench ready to go off and running. Things were almost as if to blend into itself as the background. Something wasn't adding up. She could feel it but just couldn't put her finger on it. The wind was hissing bluntly letting her disdain known loud and clear she thought that it was her fault.

Vinegar

The saying goes you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I guess it's because the sweetness is all they want, they don't want what can lure them in with the smell of their own demise. But in that case or men the flies and I the tempting jar of honey that they do not bother second-guessing? Or am I the vinegar the dares to wear the sense of honey but where's the warning signs of red on my parched crescent lips? They do not worry about me cuz I am only pretty. So I'm beautifully tempting vinegar. 

Nightlight

He said that he will see me in daylight. My mind running figure eights around a track to pass time my intuition I lose interest and counting sheep and tend to slip into counting hours not past he said daylight. I'm waiting for him to uphold his promise. I wonder if I crossed his mind nearly as much as he crosses mine. He said see me in daylight the Moon is still the model strutting the catwalk across the sky. The Moon is my reminder as much as I want to see him now it's only night lights and I still have to wait. 

Where I'm From

Past

I came from a quiet place 

for the first five years of my life.

For I was the only child. 

I came from wishing on stars, 

watching Disney movies and 

playing dress up.

I came from a warm home-cooked 

meals every single day.

I came from warnings told and 

not listening.

I came from a place of pink and purple 

were common colors.

For I was the only child.

I came from lessons learned.

I came from wisdom, joy, and love.

I came from experience.

I may not go to church every Sunday.

Yet I worship at home with mom and dad.

For I was the only child.

I came from a mother and father watching 

their little girl's dreams and praying for another playmate.

For I was the only child.

Asking mommy, daddy, May I have a little brother or sister? 

Dreaming and praying for that to come true one day, one day soon.

Closer to the Present

After five years, my dreams and prayers came true.

I then came from a family filled with rejoicement, excitement,

more love, and more experiences.

My little brother was born, named James, and brought home.

I once went from a quiet place to a noisy place.

For now, I’m not the only child anymore.

I came from my son to pick this room up and tell your sister to help.

I also came from both of you to come here and give me a hug.

I came from not being lonely anymore and having someone younger to play with.

Soon I came from going to a place with no understanding.

A new school and a new environment.

Away from my parents.

Still closer yet further than I used to.

I went to a place that made you think and made you learn.

Makes you understand that mom and dad care more than the people outside the family.

I went to a place that made you miss mom, dad, brother, and home-cooked meals every day.

A place where you’re stuck with burnt pizza and overdone food.

Also stuck with mean teachers who act fake to everyone and don’t care as much as your parents.

I went to a place where I knew who I was, but people tried to change that. 

They tried to make me less than myself by bullying me, not caring, and torturing me with hatred and hate-filled comments.

They would often give me fake compliments.

To make me feel less than them. 

I’ve wanted to have a true friend, but I never knew that the friends I have weren't what I was looking for.

I once thought that I had found a true friend, but I didn't know how blind I was to her deceitfulness.

I am from a family of wisdom. 

I came again, praying for another playmate.

However, now asking mommy and daddy Can I have a little sister?

The mother and father still watched their daughter wish for something else.

Closer to present x 2

Five years later, I came from a place filled with more noise, rejoicement, and excitement.

My little sister was born, named Kalena, and brought home.

I quickly came from a room filled with toys on the floor and constantly hearing 

“Baby girl, clean this room up and tell your big brother and sister to help you.”

Again, I went to another place. 

This time with more understanding than before.

I went to a new school and a new environment.

This time still hoping to make a true best friend or even just a friend.

Still learning and making my parents proud.

Getting a lot of assignments.

However, it wasn't impressing the people around me or even myself.

Yet I was impressing GOD, and that's what I needed to focus on. 

I was making impressions on teachers by working hard and acting civilized.

I am from a place where imagination runs wild.

I come from where people can express how they feel. 

I'm most definitely not from a rich family, but I'm definitely from a blessed family.

I am from love, not hate. 

Though I see the opposite from outside my windows every day. 

I came from a place that's heard about gunshots and violence, but never being there in person.

I came from a place that helped me when I was bullied.

They helped me understand that people don't hate me, but the GOD in me. 

Now I understand what they meant. 

I came from a place with understanding where there was none. 

I come from a family of no separation, though there are walls in my house.

I came from a place where it's loud all day but quiet all night. 

I come to a place where I might cry due to being spiritually touched by the presence of GoD, and I don't get judged for it. 

In fact, I may even need to comfort family members for the same reason.

I haven't been the only child for more than eleven years now. 

Wow, God has blessed me in so many ways. 

I'm from a place where dreams are heard. 

I am from home and heaven. 

Yes!!  I am from mistakes made.

I am from a place where people can fit in. 

I am from a place where secrets are never held. The truth is always told. 

If not, we repent if a lie is told. 

I am from a GOD formed family.

I am from a well-known and unknown family.

I am from a family of new and old family members. 

I am from a family that will try to make you happy when you are sad. 

Yet not willing to cross that line that makes me into a brat. 

I came from a GOD blessed family.

Present 

I once again went to a place.

This time with a lot of GoD given understanding.

Where I can work on what I already know and have learned. 

I come from a place I've never thought I would ever enter.

In a state of mind I've never thought I would ever be able to achieve. 

I don't care as much about what others say; I need to change 

So I can be who they want me to be. 

I came from a mother and father, with a brother and a sister.

I came from God.

I have made many mistakes in my short life span,

When I step back and take a look at how wonderful life truly is.

I didn't understand that God will always love me and will take me 

with all my flaws, because he'll take them away from me forever.

I come from laughter.

I come from a love for writing.

I am getting closer and closer to graduating.

I come from more than 795 pages, 151 short stories, and four different journals.

I come from a grieving family.

I am from having a true best friend now.

I have a high GPA.

I am from a cheer squad.

I am from New Beginnings of all types.

I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in, my friends.

I come from Growing Pains.

Are you doing your best but still being looked over?

I am asking God to constantly help me.

I come from wanting to do great things and be able to do great things.

I come from embracing my race in my gender, and who I am even more.

I came to quickly realize that people 

will never stop trying to break me down and change me.

They don't phase me anymore.

I come from a family that may struggle at times.

I come from situations of confusion, but I come to understand what has happened.

I come from a family that's all you need to know.