I have always been a person that rather stays to herself, but when I gather up a group of friends I much rather I’d be able to resight their names and count how many faces on one hand, instead of being alone with my thoughts painting the next sixteen chapels on the walls of my skull.
I have always been an introvert with an extroverted voice, with big Ideas and butterflies that flutter when I have one so big the word love doesn’t have enough letters that could be used as parchment so I can vocalize how I feel.
I have always been the kind of person with the skill to look into the future, but the future has always seemed to play hide and seek in a dark hole so hollow that if you speak into it your voice will reach the bottom and come back to you contorted and now able to hold a conversation with you, no longers able to feel lonely which I guess you can say that anyone would consider themselves blessed with this gift.
But my gift has a really funny way of messing with me, my gift puts me in the middle of a gumball storm, tells me that I can do anything that I put my mind to, convinces me that what I want to do is to reach my hand out and be able to catch all of the gumdrops that fall from the sky.
my gift puts me in a ticket blaster as a child and tells me that I can grab all the tickets that I can hold on to and that there is no limit to what I can hold, but when the time comes, my gift seems to remember to show me that though all that it said was true, it left out the minor detail that there are holes in between my figures that if I do not close them up all that I have caught will slip through those cracks.
And I guess what I am saying is that’s the Lord’s way of answering the questions; He is pointing out the fact that my heart has been a hand reaching out grasping at straws, trying to pick up more that I can hold and that good people fall from the cracks.
Points to the fact that “I love you” has been said sacrificially, to those who do not deserve it, points out the fact that if I keep going down this road, when the person who is right for me, my voice no longer exists, and I will no longer be able to say how I feel because for far too long I have been spoiled with just letting the words flow off the top of my tongue without any consequences.
So please hear me when I say that I am lucky to have you and that I will in all of my being be by your side forever. Understand that I had prepared for the worst, but instead of the storm coming you introduced yourself and showed me, love, you took the umbrella out of my hand, refused to let me craw into a panic room, and pointed out the cloudless sky and how bright the sun is shining.
