“In The Days of Quarantine”
Things are just now starting to open, & yes,
that brings me great joy,
let it be joyous that in the given days
I should be able to see my friends and family,
from outside of the windows of our computer screens.
But though I am happy,
I have still grown weary of the time
that has passed & aged
just as I have,
all the time that has elapsed that my friends & I
would have to backtrack, rewind & skim over
just so we can pick up where we last left off,
which means even though it’s been more than a year &
just to pick up where we last left off
we would have to go through our bookbags of time
just so we can get back on the same page,
needless to say the same damn book.
Again, I wouldn’t say that I am sad to have to do this
I really did miss a lot of people, but
even though time is shutting this chapter of our lives
getting us back to the dystopic-utopia we once lived
where nothing was perfect, but at least we felt like
it was us & our loved ones against all odds
without all odds being the separation.
I keep thinking about December
the season of snow
a once a year wonderland where there should have been
no room for tears & fears,
where no one should have felt alone
but it was 2020 & here’s the thing
as the temperature fluctuated
as much as the direction
had changed
at any given moment
all I could think about was all the Grentches outside of Christmas
how they’ve stolen more than just one holiday,
more than just some materialistic presences
how over this past year
they have spread their concur & divide techniques &
have seemed to have taken over,
how this shit has discouraged me,
how it has scared the still young child inside of me
that still grabs at hope like cookies in a jar &
says her prayers like a Disney princess wishing on an evening star
even though this world
has been proven both the victim & villain,
the thresholds none has overcome
the newest form of fine print
in our daily contrast constructed lives.
On the 365th day of Quarantine
all I can think of is how
when people ask me what I want last Christmas
all I could really think of was my wishlist of face,
how I wished the emptiness that filled me would subside like a drought
after years with no rain,
all at once without warning
how this entire time
just like so many others I had been looking for my way out,
one without damning dishonor,
looking for youtube videos on
how to build a latter out of tinsel,
how to build a bridge out of gift boxes & ribbon
how to construct a way out with ornament wires & candy canes
how to find a way to get those out my window
bridging the gap between me &
the bittersweet taste of freedom
I had almost forgotten the taste of.
See then there’s the funny thing
how all of you have all expected
me as an artist,
as a poet to have been able to break free from my chains,
to have found my ways to thrive &
tell others how to survive,
while the truth is I’ve learned how to build a raft out of
my own sheet of poems,
how to keep afloat among the wave of my own covers &
speak with the tongue of the night owl poets,
how they have all built their wings out of their poetry &
had allowed those wings to take them to new heights
all from their bedroom,
see then they reminded me
I’m still just a young buck
got a lot of learning & writing to go.
Now I can look past how
it was only 2020 & how all I could think about was
how I can’t wait to add that one.
Thanks for listening & Maybe from listening
This can change some of the things that have been happening.
