Ticking time bomb

I sit here
at the end of my rope
as I'm waiting for confirmation one that'll change my life.

Whether it's me,
Waiting for that call telling me your ok,
Waiting for that letter of acceptance,
Waiting for that test to be graded or,
Waiting for the last day before graduation.

I'm always waiting and
Within every moment I wait
My stomach is tied up in
Boy Scout-like knots,
Unable to breathe,
Lightheaded,
Eyes growing tired,
Heartbeat accelerates;
Feeling as if my heart has become a basketball and
My chest is the gym floor.

My mind,
Unable to break free,
like a civilian in the middle of a war.
My conscious,
like a drill instructor,
" You should have seen this coming"
It chants.

My body,
Left numb
unsure whose side to be on.
Heart's still pounding,
However.every thump sound
it begins to sound like
a cry for help.
Why can't I help?
All I wasn't do is help.
Do I even the ability to help?

Now like the devil advocates other symptoms wanna
play along.
My head starts to sound like one pound hail
Being thrown from the sky
On a freshly painted car hood.

I don't know-how,
Much longer I can hold on
I feel like every second like it's gonna be that last second.

Please just give me,
The;
test grade,
That call,
That letter,
That graduation.

I don't know
How much longer,
I'll hang on and remain sane
As I continue to wait
I remain seated as a ticking
Time bomb
getting closer, and closer to zero.........
BOOM!!!!

Different Strokes of Life

As I lay here all alone.
My face is bright red as it's light on my Android phone
I read every word you send
Every line of the words you sent to create
I feel the butterflies you released in me as you make me feel whole.

However,
Here's the catch
We're more than 700 miles away.
I love you, but how can I love you as our lips have not officially met
You say you're coming to my prom, but yet it takes money to do that.
However, both of us struggle to earn money to our name.

You say that you love me, but we are like Romeo and Juliet
Yet not separated by Montague and Capulet, but
separated by country, miles of paved road, and last name.

This ending is not for told, it is up to us
It's up to you if you get in the car
dressed in your suns best
And meet me in my party dress.
It's up to how our lips feel after being lonely and parched for so long.

It's up to how much of our likeness actually came through in the text.
It's up to us if we come to an understanding...

So after reading the fine print my love
Do you still love me
It's up to me to say yes
Cause I have already said yes to you,
Baby.